Paddy Comes Into A Pub Covered In Bruises …What He Says At The End Will Leave You Speechless Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with […]
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A Rat Swallowed A Diamond …This Will Make You Laugh Out Loud A rat swallowed a diamond and the owner of the diamond contracted a man to k*!! the rat. When the rat hunter arrived to kill the rat there were more than a thousand rats bunched up altogether and one sitting by itself away
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Cowboy Was Trying To Buy A Health Insurance Policy …This Is Pure Gold The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. “Ever have an accident?” “Nope, nary a one.” “None? You’ve never had any accidents.” “Nope. Ain’t had one. Never.” “Well, you
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A Man Was Dragged To The Cinema By His Wife …This Is Brilliant One day, a man was dragged to the cinema by his wife who wanted to watch a romantic comedy. Half an hour into the film, the man felt a nudge in his elbow. “What an outrage,” his wife murmured to him. “The
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Murphy Brings His Best Golf Mate Home …Wait Till The End Murphy brings his best golf mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open-mouthed and listens to the tirade: “My bloody hair & makeup are not done, the house is a freakin mess,
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Two Friends Were Taking An Important Final Exam …This Is Brilliant Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ___.” Bubba
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Husband Was Reading The Morning Newspaper …What He Says Next Is Pure Gold While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive
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Little Johnny Had To Check On His Old Neighbor …This Is Priceless Mrs. Green lived in two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous. “Johnny”, she called to her son “do me a favour and go find out how old Mrs.
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Elderly Man Went To A Doctor With Multiple Complaints …Wait Till The End An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints. “I see spots before my eyes,” he said. “It’s due to old age,” said the doctor. “No food agrees with me,” said the man. “That too is due to old age,” said
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A Man Enters A Pet Shop …This Is Brilliant A man enters a pet shop. He tells the store owner he wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The store owner points him in the right direction. Before the man reaches the mice he spots a cage with a parrot and begins to
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