Funny

Murphy Brings His Best Golf Mate Home …Wait Till The End Murphy brings his best golf mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open-mouthed and listens to the tirade: “My bloody hair & makeup are not done, the house is a freakin mess, […]

Two Friends Were Taking An Important Final Exam …This Is Brilliant Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ___.” Bubba

Husband Was Reading The Morning Newspaper …What He Says Next Is Pure Gold While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive

Little Johnny Had To Check On His Old Neighbor …This Is Priceless Mrs. Green lived in two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous. “Johnny”, she called to her son “do me a favour and go find out how old Mrs.

Elderly Man Went To A Doctor With Multiple Complaints …Wait Till The End An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints. “I see spots before my eyes,” he said. “It’s due to old age,” said the doctor. “No food agrees with me,” said the man. “That too is due to old age,” said

A Man Enters A Pet Shop …This Is Brilliant A man enters a pet shop. He tells the store owner he wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The store owner points him in the right direction. Before the man reaches the mice he spots a cage with a parrot and begins to

A Guy Was Lost In The Desert …Wait Till The End A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a table with a bunch of

Lady Called A Repairman To Fix Dishwasher …What Follows Next Is Pure Gold Mrs Davidson’s dishwasher quit working, so she called a Repairman. He couldn’t accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher,

A Hen Lays A Shockingly Huge Egg …This Is Brilliant A hen lays a shockingly huge egg. News reporters visit the hen for an interview. “This is amazing,” they tell the hen, “a two-pound egg, that’s unheard of! Do you have any goals for the future?” “Yes, I’m really aiming for a four-pounder!” says the

A Wealthy Man Walked Into A Bar …What Follows Next Is Pure Gold A wealthy man walked into a bar in Miami. As soon as he entered, he noticed an old woman, sitting in one corner. He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, “Bartender! I’m buying drinks for everyone in this