Funny

God Answers Man’s Prayer …This Will Make You Laugh Out Loud A man was praying in church. He looks up to the sky and says, “God, can you answer one question for me?” “Sure, my son,” God says, “what do you want to know?” “God, what does a million years mean to you?” “Well,” says […]

Man Goes To Buy A Guard Dog …His Wife Was Not Expecting This A couple decides that they need a guard dog. The husband goes to a pet store and says to the clerk, “I need a guard dog to protect my house.” The clerk replies, “I have the perfect dog for you,” and then

Old Lady Went To The Doctor’s Office ….What Follows Next Is Priceless A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the

Woman Puts Ad In Local Paper …This Is Brilliant A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t

Husband Gets On The Bathroom Scales …What He Says Next Is Pure Gold A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this movement, she commented: “I don’t think that is going to help.” “Sure it will,” he said….. …“It’s the

Two Men Go On A Fishing Trip …This Is Brilliant Two men go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day that they go fishing, they don’t catch anything. The same thing

Old Married Couple Wake Up One Morning …This Is Priceless An older couple wakes up in the morning. The husband looks over at his wife and says “Wow! You wouldn’t believe the dream I had”. The wife replies: “Yes, go on tell me”. So the husband says: “I had a dream that you left me

Two Old Friends Catch Up …This Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Two lifelong friends got together for a drink one day. “Mike, I’m in a terrible pickle,” the first man stated. “I’m strapped for cash, my rent is due tomorrow and I haven’t the slightest idea where I’m going to get it from!” “Well,

Circus Performer Was Pulled Over By Police …This Is Brilliant A circus performer was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.”

Tourist Approaches Local Man For Directions …This Is Brilliant A confused man with a map in his hand approached a local man in the city he was visiting. “What’s the quickest way to get downtown?” he asked. The local man scratched his head, and said: “Are you walking or driving?” “I’m driving,” the tourist replied. “Yup,