Anyone that has gone through the loss of a parent knows the deep and long lasting pain that it brings. We send our sincerest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to everyone who has gone through this. For anyone that is new to this shattering loss, here is a list of 10 things about you that change when you lose your parents.
1. You Learn to Live with Sadness
Grief has many different stages. At the beginning you will feel as if you will never be happy again. While you will never fully get over such a loss, the pain does ease over time. Of course your life won’t be the same but you will learn to live with the absence of them. You will never stop missing them but life will slowly move forward and even though the sadness is there, you don’t have to feel guilty for smiling too. It is a journey. However, if you experience severe grief that doesn’t seem to let up after some time, then it may be a good idea to seek medical help.
2. You Become More Anxious
Understandably people who’ve suffered the loss of a parent/s are more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Simple tasks can be overwhelming and simple responsibilities can become harder to deal with. The added pressure at an already difficult time can make you very on edge and anxious.
3. You Can’t Deal With People Complaining About Their Parents
We are all guilty of having a moan about someone in our life. Parents are no exception. Normally this would not faze you. But after a loss, these simple remarks can really annoy you. As you would literally do anything to have them back. Anyone complaining about their parents, feels like a kick in the gut. It’s natural and will pass. .
4. Holidays Have Changed
Despite the fact once we’ve grown up you start to celebrate holidays with your own children and families. But when your parents are no longer here, you can suddenly feel lonely without them and don’t feel like celebrating. Special occasions and holidays don’t have the same meaning. But you can find new ways to celebrate while honouring their memory.
5. You Learn to Accept Their Flaws
Once your parents are gone, any flaws are forgotten and any mistakes laid to rest with them. As kids our parents are heroes that can do no wrong, but as you get older your realise your parents aren’t perfect. Eventually you come to terms with those flaws once they have gone and see them in a new light.
6. Your Relationship with Your Siblings Changes
This is possibly the most complex part of losing your parents. It can change your relationship with siblings for the better or cause serious tensions. Once the glue of the family, which is the parents are gone, then the family can fall apart. Some siblings find comfort with each other. It can heal rifts and bring family back together as they support each other. However problems can occur because people grieve differently, and of course differences of opinions. It can cause conflict in the family and feuds.
7. Your Emotions Become Complicated
Every person grieves differently and it comes in many forms and stages. You can experience sadness, guilt, anger, fear, relief, and numbness all within the space of a couple minutes. The key is to let those emotions take their course, it is all part of the process of dealing with the loss and the healing process.
8. You Catch Yourself Trying to Call Them
Possibly one of the most difficult things following the loss of a parent is the reality that they are no longer just a phone call away. Whether it is to share your troubles or to give good news. To pick up your phone and forget that you can’t hear their voice on the other end is heartbreaking.
9. You Learn How Strong Love Is
It is cruelly ironic to realise just how strong your love is for your parents after they have gone. No matter if they are no longer with you, you realise that your love goes on. It can only be a comfort to the sadness that you face. Reminiscing on all the times you shared together, you’ll be truly appreciative of the love you shared.. It is bittersweet but will get you through the dark days ahead.
10. You Feel the Grief in Your Body
Grief is supposedly just an emotion. However when you experience such a loss you can literally feel the heartache and your whole body feels the pain.. You can actually become physically sick. It is important to check in with anyone who may have lost a loved one. And if you are suffering this trauma remember self care. Despite your well-being not feeling important at the time, you need to remember they’d not want you to become ill in their name. It is a long process, so please seek help if you are struggling.
If you need any support, see the following resources resources:
If you or someone you know is suffering from a mental health crisis,
please reach out to a crisis line in your area. Here are some helpful numbers:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-8255
Depression Hotline (USA): 1-866-208-4949
Crisis Text Line (USA): 741741
For life-threatening crises, call 9-1-1.